Did you know?

Did you know that when I was in second grade and my brother in fourth

There was a guy in my class named Tyler

I hated him so naturally my brother made jokes about being in love with him

And did you know that my brother and I used to take baths together in only our underwear

And one day my brother looked at my bare chest and said “Tyler probably doesn’t like you because boys don’t like flat chested girls” and he was repeating something he had heard on television like I had repeated the word “Pussy!” when he refused to get on a rollercoaster but in the moment all I could think was Thank god because I didn’t want Tyler to like me

Did you know that SRP is chat speak for sexual role play? Because I didn’t

But I did know that ASL is chat speak for Age Sex Location

And so I made my chatroom username 13 F USA and when 19 M Austin [looking for srp] messaged me hi, I responded “Hi”

When I was in fourth grade my brother was in sixth grade and he downloaded this app – you had to click a button saying you were seventeen before downloading it but my brother was in sixth grade and so when we saw a post on there saying “If you shake an imaginary salt shaker in your mouth then you will taste salt, if you don’t believe me try it” I didn’t believe them so I tried it and my brother laughed but didn’t tell me why which made me really mad.

But when my cousin was in seventh grade we were watching TV and there was some joke about balls she didn’t understand but I refused to explain it to her, hoping that she would always stay too young and pure to thank me the way I thank my brother for not telling me I was sucking imaginary dick

When I was thirteen years old I was a Superwholock fangirl with a pretty impressive tumblr to prove it but did you know that if someone asks you “Hey, I noticed you reblog a lot of religious posts, what are your opinions on lgbt issues” and you give the wrong answer then instead of sending you Sherlock gifs people will start spamming you with gay porn because what better way to advance your political beliefs than to make me want to scrub out my eyes with bleach?

Until I wish that my parents had parental controls on this laptop because that would have blocked the porn from showing up right?

Did you know that if two older girls, your dad’s friend’s daughters take you to watch a movie and you’re too obvious when you cover your eyes when they kiss the girls will laugh and spend the rest of the night whispering smut into your ears because they like watching you squirm.

The same way that kid you used to be friends with in elementary school likes making you squirm so he shoves a brown paper lunch bag into your lap, but not before shaping it into a dick and balls because he like watching you squirm as you try to get it off your lap without touching it

Did you know what a condom was? Because I didn’t and when I asked my parents they just answered my questions with more questions and

I also didn’t know that eighth grade boys like to compare dick sizes until I was put in a group with them and while they were at it they also made a point to go down a list of girls and discuss who they would fuck, and did you fucking know that too thick eyebrows make your pussy less appealing?

Did you know that in eighth grade I tried watching game of thrones but slammed my computer shut the first time they showed a penis. And now I tell people that my parents won’t let me watch Game of Thrones but did you know my parents don’t know what the fuck I do online.

And did you know that the first time I felt comfortable reading about sex was when I read my first Palahniuk novel, because sex being gross and scary and wrong is way more comfortable than sex being good.

And did you know that now I’m 17 F USA

but did you know that I still look away when people kiss in movies?


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